Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.
If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)
Game Report for June 1677
Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.
Equipment is being assembled, wagons are being loaded, packs are being filled and the soldiers are preparing to leave Paris for the summer campaign. There's just time to settle a few niggling complications. By fighting duels. And first up should be Charles PiedLuminaire versus Henri De Flection. However, of M Flection, there is no sign.
Instead, Claude de Nord and Justin Thyme kick things off with their postponed meeting. Both men wield sabres, but Claude is by far the bigger of the two and uninjured - unlike Justin. He also has both Frank X Change and Hugo Serre to second him. Rick Shaw supports Justin (as should Zavier Ulric Turenne, but he's indisposed). There's no subtlety to this fight: both men launch into a furious slash, striking home at the same time. Justin surrenders. And now has an excuse to refuse his meetings with Balzac Slapdash and Maurice Danseur.
Instead, Maurice (a big bloke) squares up to pipsqueak Ian Dediette in another sabre fight. "Having witnessed the disgraceful behaviour of certain tangerine clad louts last month" Maurice has brought some "sturdy chaps" from his regiment to patrol the site of the duel. Louis Severin Descartes is Maurice's only second (Pierre De Terre being a no-show), while Beau Taux and Greg de Bécqueur back up Ian. Ian's lack of skill catches up with him very quickly as Maurice simply hits him with the start of a furious slash while he's still preparing for action. Another quick surrender from the little guy in the fight. And his injuries mean Ian doesn't have to face Balzac, who thus gets no duels this month. However, Ian does get fed, along with both men's seconds. "My Varlet, Jacques Itin, [has brought] a hamper containing Chilled Chablis and cold Roast Chicken, fresh baguettes and soft cheese," Maurice explains by way of an invitation.
Predictably, "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick is a no-show for his meeting with Terence Cuckpowder. It's just self-preservation. Terence roars out a challenge to the expiring CPS.
This leaves Camille de Polignac and Henri DuShite to finish off June's encounters. Backed by Bernard de Lur-Saluces, Camille brings his rapier and a lack of expertise to take on Henri's massive cutlass. Camille blocks solidly, expecting a slash from his opponent's heavy blade. However, Henri has laid his weapon on the ground and, arms wide, awaits a lunge... "What?" queries Camille. "Oh, just get on with it!" calls Henri. Camille isn't sure. Expecting a ruse he continues to block, but Henri doesn't budge. Eventually Camille runs him through and Henri surrenders.
Insider dealing?
Minister of State Rick Shaw invests heavily in Arms stocks as he prepares to decide how many Brigades to deploy next year. He seems to have signalled his intentions as a slew of Parisians follow suit. Botte Le Chimiste hits up the moneylenders and puts that cash into Arms. Charles PiedLuminaire does the same, though the amount he invests is much higher than his borrowings. Dee Jean Aise actually repays his loan and then buys stock. Elroi le Flingue puts in the minimum and then diverts to "Give Lucy a kiss" before saddling up. Frank X Change cashes in his stock in Commerce to put twice as much (plus his gift from Claude de Nord) into Arms. Jacques Hatt, Louis Severin Descartes, and Maurice Danseur are more investors - Maurice adding his latest loan to his stake - as is Steve De Sade. Maurice has one more diversion before marshalling his squadron and that's to "head back to Belle's house, to kiss her goodbye."
The moneylenders are always grateful to soldiers, like Dee, who repay their debts before heading into action. Thibault Chanson de Skye falls into this category too. Conversely, despite being due, the debts of Terence Cuckpowder are not repaid. Instead, the bailiffs pay a call and extract his repayment - with double interest. Their next call is on Terence's archenemy, "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick, to collect on his liabilities. Thierry's just had an unexpected gift from Claude de Nord that helps cover their demands. And the double interest.
The news in Government circles is that the vacancy for a Minister of Justice is finally filled. Minister of State Shaw appoints Come Asiouar to the post, thus depriving Field Marshal Jacques de Gain of his Aide. Finally, no vacancies in Government - though "Tiny" Thierry will no longer be CPS after the end of June.
There's just time for some movement in the upper echelons of the military as well. The two Louis (Renault and Severin Descartes) combine to elbow the Dragoon Brigadier out of his post, as requested by Charles PiedLuminaire. Marquis Renault then uses more of his influence to ensure Charles gets the job - just in time to lead the Brigade into action. Dee Jean Aise chips in to help, but he's not influential enough to have any effect.
The trio of Con Stantinople, Thibault Chanson de Skye and Thierry Toothpick leans on the commander of Frontier Division and the man is out of there as fast as he can manage. Flying solo, Thierry tries the same on the Cavalry Division CO, but is ignored [insert rant here]. Frank X Change calls in a favour to persuade the Third Division commander to go and is likewise rebuffed. This means the only possible opening for Lieutenant-General Thibault to lead a Division is Frontier and he sails into the position, leaving command of Fourth Foot Brigade vacant.
There's some confusion between Lt-General Hugo Furst and Major Henri De Flection. Henri expects Hugo to appoint him as Aide. Hugo is willing to appoint anyone who would be an advantage as an Aide. There are two problems, though. The position calls for someone with the rank of Captain, unlike Henri, and... it's already taken. Instead, Hugo offers Henri the position of Second Foot Brigade Major, for which he is qualified and which is vacant. However, Henri is not expecting this and does not respond.
Guards Brigadier Terence Cuckpowder seems happy without a Brigade Major, but the bureaucracy kicks in and selects RFG Major Hector William Boone for the position (it was either him, Neville Moore or some fellow in the Cardinal's Guard).
In the lower echelons of the military, the new arrivals in Paris look to sign up for the campaign. Jean-Jules de Gantès sets his sights high and goes for the Royal Foot Guards. He is turned down by CO Camille de Polignac. Nothing daunted, Jean-Jules pops in to see Frank X Change at the Cardinal's Guard barracks. No dice. Next on his list are the King's Musketeers, but Claude de Nord won't take him on either. Jean-Jules' last resort is the Royal Marines. But three rejections count against him and he doesn't even get into the Marines.
The other new boy, Papier Marchee, applies to the Picardy Musketeers, appropriately. They don't want him.
Conversely, Major Sebastiane Blanc-Chevaux of the 13th Fusiliers resigns his commission, turns in his uniform and rejoins the civilian population of Paris. Where he can now stay for the summer.
The English are coming!
And so the soldiers depart Paris, marching north to take on the Dutch, Spanish and Imperials in the Low Countries. Brigadier-Generals Armand Alsace and Henri DuShite don't want to be left out and join the Royal North Highlanders for the duration. Less eager are Beaumes de Venise and Dee Jean Aise, but both are escorted to their units by the provosts.
Following William of Orange's marriage to Mary Stuart (the English king's niece) last November and the consequent Anglo-Dutch alliance, English troops have finally arrived to support the Dutch. Third Army's job is thus to defend the ceinture de fer (iron belt) of fortresses that protect France's gains in the low countries against the Dutch, English and Spanish. First army, meanwhile, attacks the Imperial forces threatening Alsace with Second army covering the supply lines.
The attacks against Third army are quite ferocious, so it's no surprise that it takes casualties. First Foot Brigade does okay, though the Picardy Musketeers get a pummelling from English guns. The Royal Marines hold firm, but there's no reward for Lt-Colonel Marcel Hatch Dupree. Brigadier Percival Puffington is brevetted to Lt-General and picks up a little loot, courtesy of Brigade Major Chemin de Fer whose own reward is worth just over five hundred crowns.
In Second Foot, both Fusilier regiments present a solid defence. Major Beau Taux of the 53rd is quite safe and takes over command of the regiment after the Lt-Col bites a bullet. Charles Etfeevor leads the 13th well now he's Colonel of the regiment, but gains nothing that would redeem his ongoing disgrace. Unlike Major Henri De Flection whose collection of Spanish helmets (from enemy soldiers daring enough to stick their heads over the defensive parapet) brings in a little cash. Brigadier Hugo Furst finds himself Mentioned in Despatches for this action.
Moving on to Second Division, in Third Foot the 4th Arquebusiers are on the wrong end of Dutch artillery, but the 27th Musketeers are solid. A few hundred crowns' worth of booty comes the way of Beaumes de Venise - now a Major, thanks to some finance from Frank X Change. Brigadier Louis Severin Descartes makes the mistake of inspecting the Arquebusiers just as the Dutch guns open up (did they spot him?) and
takes a cannonball in the chest. RIP. His Brigade Major, Steve De Sade, keeps out of the way of the ordnance and is Mentioned ("Good dodging").
The Royal North Highlanders are in Second Division and sally forth, as is their wont. This works well for Brigadier-General Armand Alsace, not so well for fellow Bdr-Gen Henri DuShite as both lead battalions into the fray. Armand's name goes into the Despatches ("A bold move that paid off") and he is Knighted as a result. Henri falls under a hail of musketry. RIP.
The mixed results bring a Mention in Despatches ("Staying in charge") for Division commander Louis Renault, who declines the offered promotion. Adjutant Dee Jean Aise accepts his promotion to (brevet) Colonel, meaning he has a regiment to lead if he's had enough of the paperwork. A small Mention ("Isn't he a cavalryman?") brings a pat on the back1. Unfortunately Louis's Aide, Pierre De Terre is taking orders to Brigadier Descartes and is another casualty of that cannonade. RIP.
As commander of Third Army, General Jacques Hatt could stand back from the fray, but he gets stuck in, earning himself a (small) Mention in Despatches ("Brave, but not too brave") and promotion to full General.
Bothering the Empire
First army is led by (brevet) General Greg de Bécqueur, who can be found encouraging both Divisions and every Brigade of his command at different times of the month. His courage is rewarded with promotion to full General, a Mention in Despatches ("He's everywhere") and almost 500 crowns' worth of loot.
First Division is made up the Guards Brigade, supported by the Dragoons, and they give a good account of themselves against the hotch-potch Imperial troops. Except for the Dragoons. Grand Duke Max's just about hold their own, but there's no reward for Lieutenant-Colonel Elroi le Flingue who's leading the regiment. Subaltern Ignace Pardaillon picks up a few hundred crowns' worth of loot, however. The new Brigadier, Charles PiedLuminaire, gains promotion (to full Brigadier-General - thus opening the Colonel's slot in Princess Louisa's for Dee's promotion), becomes a Baron and profits to the tune of several hundred crowns.
Leading the Guards, Terence Cuckpowder is Mentioned twice ("Very successful" "and brave") and pockets well over five hundred crowns' worth of booty. Brigade Major Hector William Boone sticks to the cash, netting the same amount.
The King's Musketeers actually do worst of the three Guards regiments, despite giving their opponents a thrashing. There's a Mention in Despatches for CO Claude de Nord, bringing him elevation to Marquis. His share of the plunder comes to five hundred crowns exactly. A similar MiD ("Didn't they do well?!") for the recently-purchased Major, Hugo Serre, brings him a Knighthood.
The Cardinal's Guard and Royal Foot Guards drive the Imperials from the field. CG commander Frank X Change earns a double mention ("Way to go - and there goes the enemy!"), the title of Viscount and the obligatory 500 crowns. There's a footnote in Despatches for Lt-Col Come Asiouar ("Isn't he the Minister of Justice?") and just a couple of hundred crowns.
Camille de Polignac gets a substantial Mention for leading the Royal Foot Guards ("He's leading the Royal Foot Guards") and doesn't quite manage the 500 crowns. Major Neville Moore gets less booty and Captain Felipe Savant less again.
Trying to get in on the action earns First Division commander Zeold von Tu several hundred crowns, while his Adjutant, Martin de Garnache, gets close to the 500.
The Cavalry Division has fun tackling the Imperial horsemen and chasing down routed infantrymen. Divisional Adjutant Botte Le Chimiste keeps track of things from HQ even when his boss is killed.
The enemy cavalry proves a hard nut for the Heavy Brigade, but both regiments fight bravely. Commanding Archduke Leopold's, Hugh Jeneaux is Mentioned ("A brave fight") and collects over five hundred crowns' worth of horse furniture from the enemy. François de Blanchefort leads the Crown Prince's and is likewise Mentioned in Despatches ("Ditto"), but only manages to collect one hundred crowns' worth of goodies. Still, he is brevetted to Brigadier-General. Lt-Colonel Arent Hayes tries to stay out of the limelight but is still Mentioned ("Spotted you!"). And there's a MiD for Captain Vaux de Fon as well.
The Horse Guards do rather better with Justin Thyme leading the Queen's Own to harvest over five hundred crowns' worth of trophies. Major Ian Dediette is just under the 500 mark.
The Dragoon Guards have a field day mopping up the fleeing infantry. A Mention for CO Balzac Slapdash comes alongside just under five hundred crowns' worth of loot and he takes over command of Horse Guards Brigade when it suddenly becomes vacant. There are two MiDs ("Not CPS for much longer") for "Tiny" Thierry Toothpick and these grant him a Barony. Plundering a couple of hundred crowns may help his finances, but not by much. Major Maurice Danseur's finances are helped even less by his share of the loot.
Brigade Major Con Stantinople sees his boss bite the dust, despite his best efforts to resuscitate him - worth a Mention ("Should he be kissing him like that?") - and is Knighted in time to greet his new Brigadier.
Second Army is just the Frontier regiments, but they do a decent job of guarding the supply lines. Except for the disgraced Bernard de Lur-Saluces who's serving with regiment 3. Used to having staff as a general officer, he waits for someone to come and get him and is still sitting in his tent after the action. As a lowly Private in a Frontier regiment, he is promptly executed. RIP. A sad end to his career, but a salutary lesson pour encourager les autres.
Thibault Chanson de Skye leads the Frontier Division and earns the full set: promotion (to full Lt-Gen), a Mention in Despatches, over a thousand crowns' worth of loot and a Knighthood. Captain Maximilien de Piquemaire is his Aide and outdoes his boss in loot, easily affording the horses his promotion requires.
There's a promotion, too, for (brevet) General Ben e'Volence at the head of Second Army, along with a Mention in Despatches ("He's a full General now") and 500 crowns' worth of loot.
It's, oh, so quiet...
Who was where: in the clubs |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Fleur de Lys | RS + Justine | |||
| Frog & Peach | SBC + Di | SBC + Di | ||
| Shows who was in or outside a club: . = Toady to character above; (G) = Gambled; CP = Toadying to Crown Prince; (id) = expected host; bold = first visit to new club; underline = first time mistress seen in public with this beau. | ||||
Yes, Paris is almost a ghost town for the summer. Amusement is caused by new face Jean-Jules de Gantès running out of cash. Having failed to get into the military, trying to practise his regimental weapon doesn't work either. This does his social standing no good whatsoever. The other newcomer, Papier Marchee, suffers the same fate, though at least he is still in funds.
Who was where: courting, visiting and going out |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Di | Out | Out | ||
| Justine | Out | |||
| Shows who was with a mistress or on a doorstep: Out = Mistress with current lover; I = Indiscreet (+ mistress name); ex-id = Pinched from former lover; st.down = stood down to rivals. | ||||
Who was where: round and about |
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|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Bawdy houses | JdG + FC | |||
| PM + FC | ||||
| Practising | JJdG - Rapier | JJdG (No cash!) | JJdG (no reg't!) | SBC - Rapier |
| JdG - Rapier | SBC - Rapier | JdG - Rapier | ||
| PM - Rapier | JdG - Rapier | PM - Rapier | ||
| RS - Sabre | PM - Rapier | RS - Sabre | ||
| RS - Sabre | ||||
| Busy doing nothing | JJdG -cash (Bawdy house) | |||
| Shows everybody else: FC = Female Companionship; Mug n = Mugged & amount lost; (G) = Gambled; Weapon = Weapon practised with. For those doing nothing: -club = not a member of a club; -Cash = insufficient funds; -SL = insufficient Social Level; ???? = unknown host. | ||||