Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses

Players' Press for September 1675

Sections: Announcements, Blatant Brown-nosing, Despatches from the Front, Matters of Honour, Military Missives, Ministerial Correspondence, Personal, Poetry Corner, Social

Announcements

** Join the QOC **
Gentleman of Paris, if you are new to the city or are looking for a new Regiment, then you can do no better than join the Queen's Own Carabiniers.
Please contact me for more details, and some financial help is available.
† Marquis Thyme

Join France's best regiment. Apply to RFG HQ.
† Beau Reese Jean Seine

REWARD
100 gold coin award leading to the arrest of the deranged and treacherous agitator Michael Chevalier Cavalier who has consistently undermined the crown with spurious fantastical conspiracy theories.

** Aide Required **
I am looking for a competent aide. Please contact me with your credentials.
† (Brevet) Bdr-General Marquis Thyme

Social

Join Beau Reese Jean Seine at the Fleur in the first week of October. Ministers, soldiers and their ladies welcome.
Drinks Provided.
† Beau Reese Jean Seine

In honour of all our fallen friends and comrades from our summer campaign I will hold a memorial dinner during week 2. All gentlemen and their ladies are invited to join Maggie Nifisent and me to raise a glass to all heroic sons of France who did not return.
(All refreshments paid for by host.)
† Baron Louis Renault

Personal

Monsieur Dichateme,
Having seen your application for Aide to Brigadier-General, I would be interested to hire you in such position.
But unfortunately you don't have the military rank to be qualified, as you didn't even join a regiment yet.
I can take you on in the GDMD but only as a Private. Do you want to ask the 4A or 53F to join as a Subaltern?
Of course the PLLD are also a good option (Dragoons!) but that'll take a month, as there is no one to talk to right now.
Let me know your plans and how I can help. I can also keep the position free for the moment.
† Louis Severin Descartes
Br Brigadier General GDMD

To the esteemed commanding officers of His Majesty's glorious and recently returned armed forces.
My dear sirs,
Having recently arrived in Paris (following a slight misunderstanding [which need not be elaborated upon] at my erstwhile abode, The Orphanage of the Holy Siblings), I find myself a little adrift insofar as, while in possession of sufficient funds to purchase a position in a prestigious regiment, I am lacking in contacts thereto or in letters of introduction. I should be most grateful for any communication offering the chance of enlistment to a role in which I might be of service.
Most humbly yours,
† Huge Furst

In the dimness of candlelight, Jean D'Aubergine poured a mass of coins from the unlaced boot in which he had stashed them into an unruly pile on the rotting, wobbly table of his grimy garotte apartment ("Scrupulously clean!" the landlord had beamed). He had literally tripped over the treasure in a set of saddlebags draped over the rear half of an unfortunate station pony, laying in the bloody ditch where Jean had taken shelter from shelling at Salzbach. The coins were of a specie unknown to him, but, clearly, they were gold.
He then began puzzling over the moral status of his windfall, adopting that puzzled, serious look that had caused his brothers to conclude, not unrightly, that given that Jean didn't think so ably, he oughtn't to do it so much. "These cannot be said to belong to the animal," he mumbled "as it is not a person, really, with an immortal soul, and its head's off in any case. Nor can we say they belong to those unfortunate footmen of the Empire, whose back pay is owed them, as they too are mostly dead, and those living, though Christians, are the enemies of our King and Cardinal and so, of God. Thus," he concluded with clinical determination, "though we cannot say these coins are mine, lex scripta, we must in any case conclude that they are currently... res communis, and without responsible heavenly purpose. And surely Scripture says something on that matter... somewhere". With that, he began to count the coins slowly and aloud, as was his habit, and to lay his plans for better lodgings.

GDMD recruitment song
Young man! There's a place you can be.
I said, young man! When you're short on GC,
You can serve there and I'm sure you can find
Many ways to have a good time!
It's fun to serve with the GDMD!
It's fun to serve with the GDMD!
You can get a good horse,
Ride out without remorse,
Come home rich, or die for a good cause...
If anyone remembers the rest of the lyrics, or the silly dance that went with it, please inform Regimental Command.
† Louis Severin Descartes
Br Brigadier General GDMD

Lord Percy Percy says, as fashion is tending towards the flamboyant, Beau Nidle is very fashionable.

To: Sir Claude de Nord
Commissioner of Public Safety
I can confirm to you that, as Deputy Commissioner for Public Safety, my loyalty is total. So much so that I have personally recruited my own team to help clean up Paris, at my own personal expense!!
Yes, with the Tangerine Team now up and running, our people can rest assured that all of the villains and wrongdoers will soon become a thing of the past and peace and harmony will be the order of the day. However, we're not quite there yet and I have grave concerns regarding one specific individual... a certain Count Pierre Cardigan! I'm not sure if you're aware, but this rogue has a history steeped in ill-doing and sedition - indeed he is personally responsible for the demise of one of your predecessors, Marquis Sheikh Yadik Al-Abowt, who he murdered in cold blood many years ago and has never been brought to justice for his crimes. I beg you to allow me and my Tangerines to go and arrest the rogue and bring him back to the Bastille for interrogation and confession. You don't even have to bother yourself with doing it personally, I can do all that and all you need do is write up an arrest warrant and the leave everything else to me, your most loyal underling - and, no... no jokes about underling in that way... people should stop being heightist all the time... we less tall folk have feelings you know, we're people too!
† Deputy Comnmissioner of Public Safety
Captain Tiny Thierry Toothpick

"Welcome to Paris." Octo Lucretius Souris, nodding to the Monsieur who has just agreed to take his horse in exchange for a handful of money which Octo is now carefully putting in his money pouch. The poor animal has barely survived the journey, nearly succumbing to old age, the weather or the stress of breathing during the trip. "There probably are poorer people trying to make a start here, but I doubt them being many..." Luckily the troops of the King's army arrived just a day before him, so there would be a lot of coming and going, a good amount of partying and general hubbub. Lots of opportunity to get the lay of the circles of society, who to look after and out for. "Salut, beautiful, you seem like one, who could use some diversion..." The pause at the end left room for many illicit but exciting things. "Ah well, high society can wait. Let's take the journey's edge off and concentrate on getting into Paris the proper way," Octo mused. "Certainly, Mademoiselle. But I reek of old horse and dusty roads". "Ah, don't you worry, dear. The water is hot, the soap smooth and caressing, just step this way here..." And a new round of the eternal game begins.

Mad Tom says...
We who made it back in one piece are ready for some peace.
Not too much though!!
† TdlL

Talk about feeling out of place!
My rather unexpected expulsion from the orphanage, coach ticket in hand, has deposited me in a city packed with "the great unwashed and roughed-up-at-the-edges", i.e. hordes of newly-returned, noisy war 'heroes' all eager to get down to it with their mistresses as often and as soon as possible, whilst still carousing at all hours at parties that have "serving officers only" (or the like) notices pinned prominently on the door! A little humility (as befits my name) may be the key, and I have determined to adopt a softly-softly approach until the general testosterone level subsides. After all, by next month it will be a little clearer whose bed sheets are being less ruffled than others. Plus, it'll give me the chance to knock out a few letters of application (in my best-est handwriting, of course).

Louis stared at the two letters on the desk in front of him. On the face of it, they both seemed capable applicants. He retrieved a gold coin from his purse and flipped it into the air, tails. So Captain Thibault, fate has chosen you as my new aide.

Poetry Corner

(All signed poetry submissions gain their author at least 1 SP)

Aide to Brigadiers
New in command, don't be afraid,
Leave that to your quivering aide.
Wondering who'll tell you what to do?
Army, Division, then there's you.
Under you, the Regiments:
Summon the Colonels from their tents.
Situation looking dire?
Put them in the line of fire.
Worry not if it gets gory,
For them it's death, for you it's glory.
Stay at the back and you'll be fine,
Drink to the dead with a fine wine.
Need someone with a listening ear?
That's why your Brigade Major is here.
† HT