Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
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Les Petites Bêtes Soyeuses
Being a correspondence game of En Garde! run by Pevans since April 1986 and now published as part of To Win Just Once.
If you'd like to play, you'll need to subscribe to TWJO (follow the link for details). You will need a copy of the rules to En Garde! - or at least access to a copy. The additional rules for LPBS are available as a PDF document. (You will need Adobe Reader to view this: it is available free from Adobe.)
Orders for November 1677 to LPBS, 180 Aylsham Drive, Uxbridge UB10 8UF or the LPBS orders e-mail address by 7th August 2026.
Game Report for October 1677
Sections: Duels, Trials, Appointments and Regiments, What happened in Paris, What happened at the front.
Paris in October echoes to the sound of steel on steel as affairs of honour are settled. All sparked by last month’s partying after the troops returned to the city from the summer campaign. The rivalry between the Cardinal’s Guard and King’s Musketeers has sparked several of these, but we start with a Musketeer fighting a Royal Foot Guard despite their regiments’ mutual friendship. KM CO Claude de Nord takes on RFG Lieutenant-Colonel Martin de Garnache. Claude is unusual, for an infantryman, in using a sabre and is rather more skilled with this than Martin is with his rapier. Frank X Change and Hugo Serre accompany Claude (and he is followed by several orange-painted fellows), but Martin is without a second.
Belying his apparent expertise, Claude starts with a defensive block. This is no barrier to Martin’s lunge, which pierces straight through to draw first blood. This attack is actually a furious lunge and his second blow, a cut, coincides with Claude’s slash for damage on both sides. Claude’s skill now comes into play as Martin has no defence against either blow in his furious slash. Martin surrenders. Frank, who is in the Cardinal’s Guard, now expects to fight Claude, but the Musketeer just wanders off.
Next up, then, is Charles PiedLuminaire who is fighting his Aide, Marc-Antoine Descartes. (“It is of course highly unfortunate that [we] had the same taste in ladies,” notes Marc-Antoine.) Both use sabres with Charles having the greater skill. And both have nominated each other as their second! Charles does have his second second, Dee Jean Aise, with him. Trying to catch out his opponent, Marc-Antoine starts with a lunge – a clumsy strike with a sabre. Charles seems to expect this as he parries the attack and ripostes to scratch Marc-Antoine. That’s enough for honour to be satisfied and Marc-Antoine gratefully concedes the duel.
This is only the start of Marc-Antoine’s encounters this month. Next, he faces Arent Hayes and does so on his own as his second doesn’t show up. Ah, that’s Charles of course, who’s not best pleased with his Aide. Arent has François de Blanchefort backing him and is a more proficient swordsman than his adversary. Still grumbling about the CPC “putting a peasant in charge of their first Squadron,” Marc-Antoine starts defensively, blocking Arent’s initial slash and dodging the following cut. He then attacks with a slash which Arent shrugs off before finally hitting Marc-Antoine with a slash of his own. That’s enough to win the duel.
Marc-Antoine’s next rendezvous is with Chemin de Fer, but will have to wait as Chemin wants to fight Jean-Jules de Gant first, while Jean-Jules chooses Arent as his first opponent. Jean-Jules wields a rapier against Arent’s sabre and has no second. He’s also of slighter build and less skill. Oh dear. A lunge from Jean-Jules is partially deflected by Arent’s slash who follows up with a cut that prompts Jean-Jules to surrender.
Despite the battering he’s received, Jean-Jules squares up to Chemin. Then he sees his still-dripping blood… Expecting a lunge, Chemin parries, but Jean-Jules just surrenders.
Thus it’s time for Marc-Antoine to face Chemin’s blade. He looks at Chemin’s Cutlass. He looks at his own rapier. He looks back at the Cutlass and considers how many bandages he’s wearing. He declines to fight.
Meanwhile, Jean-Jules has been bandaged up and moved on to cross swords with Marcel Hatch Dupree, despite Marcel being another Royal Marine and thus duelling with a cutlass. Chemin arrives to second Marcel, along with Hector William Boone. Jean-Jules considers things and opts to fight. However, his choice of parrying as a defence betrays his lack of skill. Marcel simply thumps him with a slash. RIP
Elsewhere, Marc-Antoine is ready for his last duel of the month. This one is with Cuirassier Hugh Jeneaux, so is again sabre on sabre. And again, his opponent is more skilled. Marc-Antoine is hoping Hugh has been “overwhelmed” by “the sheer number of the GDMD”. Unfortunately, Hugh has chosen Marc-Antoine for his first duel. Both duellists are unaccompanied and start their contest defensively. There is a flurry of blocks and jumping before they decide to attack, their slashes landing simultaneously. Unsurprisingly, it is the already-injured Marc-Antoine who concedes the duel.
Hugh moves on to meet Claude B’Limey, another sabre-wielder with less skill. His defensive approach continues, with Claude also blocking and dodging to begin with. Then come the synchronised slashes. They take the hit and continue fighting, but Hugh’s is a furious attack and his cut triggers a surrender from Claude.
Botte Le Chimiste is next on Hugh’s list. It’s sabre versus sabre with no seconds, but this time it’s Hugh who’s on the wrong end of the skill difference. The two launch into slashes and Hugh surrenders, his wounds catching up with him.
These injuries give him a valid reason not to attend his final duel but, after the application of a few bandages, he crosses sabres with Steve De Sade (no seconds for him either). Only then does Hugh seem to realise how beefy his opponent is. He surrenders immediately, saving himself from further injury – though not from the scorn of others.
In another part of town there is some rapier action as Balzac Slapdash takes on Camille de Polignac. It’s an even fight apart from Balzac’s superior skill and, once more, neither has a second. Balzac’s attempt to block his opponent’s sword is pointless as Balzac’s lunge simply runs through the defence and Camille. Camille jumps aside, but Balzac follows up to land an unexpected slash. An exchange of lunges finally scores a hit on Balzac, but the latest wound is enough for Camille and he surrenders.
It’s a brave man that takes on Terence Cuckpowder in a duel. That man is Zeold von Tu, bringing his rapier – and second Come Asiouar – to meet Terence’s sabre. Zavier Ulric Turenne remains indisposed, so there’s no second for Terence. Intriguingly, his first moves are to parry, block and sidestep. This lets Zeold hit him with a lunge and a cut before Terence finally attacks. Two slashes leave Zeold just conscious enough to be able to surrender.
Henri de Boudeille brings his sabre to meet Pierre Aux-Manique and his rapier. There are no seconds, but Henri looks to have a size advantage. Henri parries, Pierre blocks. Henri backs off, Pierre blocks. Henri winds up for an attack as Pierre jumps aside. However, Henri’s slash strikes home and Pierre is happy to concede at first blood.
This brings us to Maurice Danseur’s challenge to Justin Thyme, which Paris has whole-heartedly endorsed (9 votes to 3). It’s the big sabre-wielding Maurice versus the slender sabre-wielding Justin, backed up by Rick Shaw. The duellists slash, both striking home and Justin surrenders. Maurice has brought “another breakfast hamper of cold Chablis, Chicken and baguettes to share with [his] opponent and seconds. [The three] discuss the recent campaign and congratulate [Justin] on his exploits.”
The name’s Bond, Fleur Bond
Finances seem to be on everybody’s mind this month as the availability of a few Fleur Bonds sees numerous people investing. Several take the opportunity to increase their investments in Arms as well. Not least Camille de Polignac, the Field Army’s Quartermaster-General. Steve De Sade is pleased that Camille offers him the job as his Aide. However, that’s a position for a Subaltern and Steve is already a Major.
Buoyed up by some hefty gifts, the new face in Paris, Pierre Newkirk, applies to the Picardy Musketeers. Colonel Sebastian Blanc-Chevaux signs him up immediately and Pierre is happy with the rank of Subaltern to start with. Of course, this means he is assigned to first Battalion, commanded by Lance A Little and currently in action. No sooner has Pierre been issued with his uniform than he’s packing up for the journey to the frontier.
François de Blanchefort accepts Achille d’Orbigny into his regiment, the Crown Prince Cuirassiers and he, too, becomes a Subaltern. As he’s a brevet Brigadier-General, François asks Achille to be his Aide, too. Just one problem: the post is already taken!
Quitting the 27th Musketeers, it’s the Cardinal’s Guard for Beaumes de Venise, admitted by Frank X Change, but he’s just a Private.
“Tiny” Thierry Toothpick flexes his influence (aka money) to ensure that the Lt-Colonel of the King’s Musketeers does not resign as Hugo Serre has requested.
Adjutant-General Hugo Furst adds another Divisional commander, appointing Charles PiedLuminaire to lead Second Division.
Terence Cuckpowder is already in charge of First Division and he brings in Martin de Garnache as Divisional Adjutant.
And the Minister of State, Rick Shaw, declines to grant Hugh Jeneaux’s wish to join the government as a Minister without Portfolio.
Inspector-General of Infantry Percival Puffington has no problem with Major Pierre Aux-Manique volunteering his Battalion of the Gascons for active service. Once he’s resigned as Brigade Major of Fourth Foot, of course.
Party, party, challenge, party…
Parisian social life starts slowly this month with just Frank X Change and Thibault Chanson de Skye hosting unannounced parties in the Fleur. This may explain why there’s so much courting going on. Or is it the other way round? Hugo Furst is one of those to join Thibault, showing off his latest, very tasteful couture. “Even my mother approves,” he says. And nobody sniggers.
Things get going with a bang (and a raft of regimental rows) when Louis Renault and Maggie Nifisent hold their memorial dinner for Pierre De Terre the following week. Louis is resplendent in his newly-commissioned full dress uniform as Inspector-General. Just about everybody who is anybody is there. Apart from Justin Thyme who was there the week before. And Beaumes de Venise who insists he’s on Pierre De Terre’s guest list only to be nonplussed when the doorman points out that his supposed host is noticeably dead.
Let’s start the shenanigans with poor old Beau Taux. The lone 53rd Fusilier, he is set upon by several Crown Prince Cuirassiers. Starting with newbie Achille d’Orbigny then boss man François de Blanchefort, Lt-Col Arent Hayes and Captain Vaux de Fon. Archduke Leopold’s commander Hugh Jeneaux takes flak from the Grand Duke Max’s representatives: Botte Le Chimiste, Claude B’Limey and Elroi le Flingue. The three even rope in their colleague Marc-Antoine Descartes, who’s having a quiet week enjoying the Fleur as the guest of Jacques Hatt and Cath de Thousands. Marc-Antoine quickly realises that there are people at Louis’s bash that are his social inferiors. He calls out Arent Hayes (who’s been prominent in leading the toasts to Pierre De Terre), Chemin de Fer and Maurice Danseur as riff-raff.
As a Dragoon Guard, Maurice swaps challenges with Queen’s Own Con Stantinople. Not to be left out, King’s Musketeers Claude de Nord and Felipe Savant leave Louis’s table to call out Cardinal’s Guardsman Frank X Change who was minding his own business (with Edna Bucquette) in another part of the club. An orange-painted coach is waiting outside the club when Claude departs. “The Boss says it’s ok for you to use the Commissioner’s coach if you want to,” say the orange-clad driver and postillion.
After this Thibault continues hosting for the rest of the month. He has a bit of competition from Terence Cuckpowder’s more exclusive get-together, which brings in Justin Thyme to assist Con in repeating his challenge to Maurice. The appearance of Steve De Sade as Camille de Polignac’s guest at the end of October prompts one more glove-slapping – between Steve and Hugh Jeneaux (who’s also getting the treatment from Botte again).
Who was where: in the clubs |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Fleur de Lys | TCdS + Katy | ZvT + Morgane | TC | TCdS + Katy |
| . HF + Ella | FXC + Edna | . NM + Vera | . HJ + Sal | |
| . BLC + Eve | CdP + Therèse | . JiT + Guinevere | . HF + Ella | |
| . CS + Anne | JH + Cath | . ZvT | . MHD | |
| FXC + Edna | . MAD | . GdB + Bette | . HWB | |
| . BdV + Lois | LR + Maggie | . CdN | . BLC + Eve | |
| . MAD | . FdB + Freda | . LR + Maggie | . CS + Anne | |
| RS + Justine | . NM + Vera | TCdS + Katy | . MD + Madelaine | |
| GdB + Bette | . BS | . HF + Ella | JiT + Guinevere | |
| CdP + Therèse | . HJ | . HS + Kathy | FXC + Edna | |
| JH + Cath | . FS + Fifi | . MHD | CdN | |
| . TCdS + Katy | . HWB | CdP + Therèse | ||
| . HS + Kathy | . BLC + Eve | . SDS + Laura | ||
| . VdF | . AA | |||
| . MHD | . CS + Anne | |||
| . HWB | . MD + Madelaine | |||
| . SBC + Sue | FXC + Edna | |||
| . BT + Angelina | CdP + Therèse | |||
| . AH | ||||
| . CBL + Violet | ||||
| . BLC + Eve | ||||
| . DBT | ||||
| . AA | ||||
| . ElF + Lucy | ||||
| . MdG + Chris | ||||
| . CdF + Henrietta | ||||
| . GdB + Bette | ||||
| . CS + Anne | ||||
| . CdN | ||||
| . MD + Madelaine | ||||
| . HdB | ||||
| . AdO | ||||
| Outside Fleur de Lys | JiT (LR) | |||
| Bothwell's | FdB + Freda | HF + Ella | FdB + Freda | FdB + Freda |
| PPuf + Viv | PPuf + Viv | PPuf + Viv | PPuf + Viv | |
| MdG + Chris | MdG + Chris | |||
| Hunter's | SBC + Sue | |||
| CdF + Henrietta | ||||
| Blue Gables | SDS(G) + Laura | |||
| Frog & Peach | DJA | |||
| Red Phillips | CBL + Violet | DBT | ||
| Shows who was in or outside a club: . = Toady to character above; (G) = Gambled; CP = Toadying to Crown Prince; (id) = expected host; bold = first visit to new club; underline = first time mistress seen in public with this beau. | ||||
Roll them bones
Steve De Sade was notable earlier in the month for getting in a few wagers while showing off his new conquest, Laura de Land, at Blue Gables. He places four hundred-crown bets and luck is with him as he wins all except the one he cuts when he sess the house’s roll. This leaves him well in profit for the week.
It turns out the only other gambler in Paris is Henri de Boudeille who tries his luck while visiting the bawdyhouses. Mind you, he’s only prepared to risk 10 crowns at a time. He feels flush after winning his first two bets, but then loses three on the trot to end up out of pocket. Luckily for him, the footpads decide he’s not worth it – just like the two they mugged earlier in the month.
Who was where: courting, visiting and going out |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Angelina | Out | |||
| Anne | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Belle | VdF fails | |||
| Belle's doorstep | HJ st.down | |||
| AdO st.down | ||||
| Bess | MAD fails | MAD fails | ||
| Bette | Out | Out | Out | |
| CdN fails | ||||
| Cath | Out | Out | ||
| Chris | Out | Out | Out | |
| Edna | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Ella | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Eve | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Fifi | Out | |||
| Frances | TC succeeds | |||
| Frances's doorstep | AA st.down | |||
| Freda | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Guinevere | Out | Out | ||
| Henrietta | Out | Out | ||
| Justine | Out | |||
| Kathy | HS succeeds | Out | Out | |
| Katy | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Laura | SDS succeeds ex-ZUT | Out | Out | |
| Lois | Out | |||
| Lucy | Out | |||
| Madelaine | MD succeeds | Out | Out | Out |
| Maggie | Out | Out | ||
| Morgane | Out | |||
| Pet | DJA fails | |||
| Sal | HJ succeeds | Out | ||
| Sue | Out | Out | ||
| Therèse | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| BS fails | BS fails | BS fails | ||
| Vera | Out | Out | ||
| Violet | Out | Out | ||
| Viv | Out | Out | Out | Out |
| Shows who was with a mistress or on a doorstep: Out = Mistress with current lover; I = Indiscreet (+ mistress name); ex-id = Pinched from former lover; st.down = stood down to rivals. | ||||
Hugo Serre is probably the most ostentatious suitor in Paris. His approach to Kathy involves “gifts of an emerald necklace, the finest chocolates, and exotic flowers … be presented by matched servants wearing livery in the colours of the King’s Musketeers.” How could a girl say no?
Least ostentatious are probably Hugh Jeneaux and Achille d’Orbigny. They meet on Belle Epoque’s doorstep, along with Vaux de Fon, but are quick to back down. Each gives precedence to the others, gradually retreating as they bow until they are at opposite ends of the street. Belle is unable to take Vaux’s suit seriously after that display.
Armand Alsace’s retreat from courting later in the month is very understandable: that’s Terence Cuckpowder he’s come up against. Maurice Danseur is lucky enough to visit Madelaine de Proust just after she’s received Thierry Toothpick’s letter dumping her. She’s grateful for the chance to move on. While Balzac Slapdash doesn’t move on. He keeps trying to visit Therèse Le Vert while she’s clearly out with her current beau.
Who was where: round and about |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Where | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 |
| Bawdy houses | MHD + FC | VdF + FC | CA + FC | |
| HWB + FC: Mug 0 | HdB(G 40) + FC | |||
| AH + FC | DJA + FC | |||
| DBT + FC: Mug 0 | ||||
| AA + FC | ||||
| ID + FC | ||||
| Practising | NM - Rapier | TC - Sabre | BdV - Rapier | NM - Rapier |
| TC - Sabre | JiT - Sabre | SBC - Rapier | HS - Rapier | |
| ZvT - Rapier | JdG - Rapier | BT - Rapier | VdF - Sabre | |
| BT - Rapier | BeV - Sabre | CBL - Sabre | SBC - Rapier | |
| JdG - Rapier | ID - Sabre | JdG - Rapier | BT - Rapier | |
| BeV - Sabre | CA - Rapier | DBT - Rapier | CBL - Sabre | |
| CA - Rapier | CdF - Cutlass | JdG - Rapier | ||
| HdB - Sabre | BeV - Sabre | MdG - Rapier | ||
| DJA - Sabre | ID - Sabre | CdF - Cutlass | ||
| LR - Rapier | CA - Rapier | BeV - Sabre | ||
| JH - Sabre | GdB - Sabre | |||
| SDS - Sabre | ID - Sabre | |||
| HdB - Sabre | JH - Sabre | |||
| AdO - Sabre | LR - Rapier | |||
| Regimental Duties | BdV | |||
| IP | ||||
| AdO | ||||
| Busy doing nothing | BdV -Toady to ???? | AH | ZvT | |
| In a garret, scribbling furiously | FS | RS | FS | FS |
| ElF | CPL | ElF | AH | |
| CPL | RS | ElF | ||
| CPL | RS | |||
| CPL | ||||
| Shows everybody else: FC = Female Companionship; Mug n = Mugged & amount lost; (G) = Gambled; Weapon = Weapon practised with. For those doing nothing: -club = not a member of a club; -Cash = insufficient funds; -SL = insufficient Social Level; ???? = unknown host. | ||||
No woman, some loot
While the Frontier regiments and volunteer infantry continue to lay siege to remaining Spanish outposts, the Dragoon Guards actually get involved in a fight. They take on a Spanish relief column and batter them enough to be able to make off with a couple of the wagons. “Tiny” Thierry Toothpick shows some personal bravery in leading the attack and is lucky when an enemy sabre passes over his head. His personal share of the booty comes to over a thousand crowns, but he refuses the promotion he’s offered. And he still finds time to send a missive home telling Madelaine she’s dumped. (“Be gone woman, I’ve far more important things to occupy my mind and time with than some annoying harlot!” is how he puts it.)
The 13th Fusiliers are successful in their siege with Charles Etfeevor pocketing some thousand crowns’ worth of loot.
Attached to Frontier regiment 1, Pierre Aux-Manique leads his Battalion of Gascons without distinction.
Lance A Little’s Picardy Musketeer Battalion is with Frontier regiment 4, which makes sufficient progress against the Spanish defences to bring Lance some plunder. Nearly fifteen hundred crowns’ worth. Newly minted Subaltern Pierre Newkirk becomes newly minted Captain Pierre Newkirk, his finances easily stretching to the purchase of the required horse.